Thank you for blessing me with your goodness

I wasn’t sure when I woke up today where this day was going. Well, I never do, really. I was somewhat excited about seeing a neurologist. John came to pick me up at 9.45. I was outside surrounded by glittering snow. I wasn’t wearing a hat, and I was not wearing gloves, either. Simply forgotten, I suppose; it wasn’t that cold, but the wind and dampness made it slightly brutal. So we headed to OSF. I didn’t have minutes left on my phone, but John said he’d wait for forty five minutes, in case I got done before that. If it was taking longer, he said I could call, Linda, his wife, from the hospital.

Dr. Catt was young and extremely pleasant. As she examined me, she was writing notes – tons. After an hour and twenty minutes a plethora of recommendations were made: physical therapy, ankle braces, medication to help with lack of energy and depression (am I depressed!?), speech therapy, urologist, swallowing exam, sleep apnea test, etc., etc. Then I called Linda. There was a lot on my mind. Is my life worth all this trouble? I have no idea. I was glad, though, that Dr. Catt didn’t dismiss anything. It was apparent that she really wanted to help in whatever way possible. I’m indebted to Jan for recommending this doctor.

The day went by as usual. I had a heavier mind, though. I chatted with Nancy, Jan, and Irene. I went to Subway for lunch. Then I had my Creative Writing Pedagogy class, and after that, I had my Pedagogy seminar. I sat there like a rock, scared to open my mouth. I have very high anxiety. My instructor is probably one of the most wonderful people ever. I could not ask for a more supportive and compassionate human being as my professor. Ah, God bless the pure of heart! I told her very briefly what was happening in my life, and her encouragement gave me an added boost. I mustered all my courage and actually said something in class. My classmates are so very understanding, too. I’m not very articulate now, even though I have captained debates in high school. And I used to perform a lot. I wanted to be a Broadway star. Funny how it all turns out to be at the end.

I text messaged Jessica, but there was no response. I thought she could still be in class. Hilary and Sheilan waited till Jessica came out to make sure I had a ride home. Ah, blessed blessed are the pure of heart, who can think about others… My life is full of amazing people. I’m blessed in many ways. It’s hard sometimes, but I know I should never forget this. I try. I try. Maybe I should go to bed now, but I want this beautiful feeling generated by good people in my life, to last a few minutes more. Blessed be the pure of heart.