Light at the end of the Tunnel?

Maybe there is or maybe one should learn to enjoy the darkness. I am, and I am learning to revel in it. Good things come to those who wait, apparently, and love finds YOU… well, I don’t know about that, but I do know that accepting and surrendering help me a lot. It’s difficult to accept, and it’s even more so to surrender. I’m a quiet rebel, so I try to trample whatever that attempts to damn me… like MS… I swim, I do my physical therapy exercises, I do my speech therapy exercises (ALMOST!!), I cook, I sing, I write, I read… the list is endless, but deep inside, I’m also trying not to let out this massive fear that looms within. I will squash it, I will trample it, I will beat it… maybe in an in an ideal world. That’s not my world, for sure.  

But today was an exceptionally good day. In the morning I went to OSF by bus to sort out my insurance issues and show the PROUD letter that undertakes to pay my OSF bills in full! Kelly at the reception was very sweet. I was embarrassed when she said “HI LASAAAAAAANTHA,” because I didn’t know her name then. I do now.

Then I went to the English department and chatted with Jan and Irene. I also ate some yummy treats and drank iced green tea while I was there. It was murderously hot today, and I almost collapsed when I was on the way to the store, but I made it and bought fish, shrimp, bananas, strawberries, carrots, cranberries, etc. When I came home, I crashed. I REALLY CRASHED. The backpack was heavy and the day was way too hotttttt!! And then I woke up…

I was invited by pastor Knapp to see Romeo and Juliet AND The Winter’s Tale this weekend. I’m thrilled to pieces! They have been able to get complimentary tickets for me. I’m just completely amazed by the goodness around me. Amazing… I somehow feel like I’m getting somewhere. I managed to find a much cheaper apartment, I managed to sell most of the things I wanted to sell to make ends meet, and I met some wonderful people.

Today, this Indian couple came to buy my keyboard. They were amazingly shy and sweet, I wish I could give away the keyboard without charging… alas, I need the money, though, so I brought down the price and told them they could take anything they wanted from my kitchen for free: the toaster, spoons, containers, etc. They were in a hurry, though, and they didn’t want to take anything L

I cooked shrimp today since I can eat sea food now. It was really good, if I may say so myself! I feel, despite the physical challenges, I had a great day. I feel that someone’s watching over me. I feel I can do anything. Keep me in your care, my Father in heaven.