As unrealistic as it sounds, I still make “to do” lists that remind me I have a lot to do. And miles to go before I sleep. And miles… My neighbors are very quiet now. I hope it’s not a momentary change in the vitriolic exchanges I hear every night. Maybe they realized that others need to live a little, too. Yes, I can still live a little. Ah, that reminds me of a song that I love: “You gotta laugh a little, cry a little, let your poor heart break a little. That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.”
I still don’t quite understand why so many people think I’m brave. Well, I guess I still do what I can. I’m just clinging to a rotting excuse for a body, though. But one fine day, I will be as new as fresh snow. When I came out of my apartment, I smiled to myself, rejuvenated by pure white snow. Snow makes it hard for me to navigate, but a light snowfall lifts up my spirits and reminds me that someone up there is in control. It’s comforting. It’s liberating. Yeah, I still believe.
So I came to the library and worked almost four hours without a break on my online class. I posted all my students’ midterm grades, and I will email them individually to remind them that an online class is easy to fail. Alas! I hope no one fails.
I had a “mixed berry coffee cake” and some coffee to recover from bad papers. Well, most of them were good, though. I absolutely love the individual conferences I have with my online students at the end of the semester. It’s very hectic for me to talk so much, but meeting my students for the first time is still a wonderful experience. Most of them have delightful personalities. Alas, some of them make me re-think about the grades I have given them. Bad bad bad. I’m so easily persuaded. As long as they learn… as long as they learn…
I don’t feel too bad today. When I was walking over to Einstein Brothers to get coffee, I had an epiphany: my world is growing ever so smaller in so many ways. I’m terribly near-sighted. Until you are within reach, I don’t even know who you are. I also realized that my circle of friends (I do believe I have a large one) is dwindling. Maybe it’s not a bad thing, though. Can I be burning bridges by not being the first person to initiate contact? Maybe those bridges never really existed… that’s my epiphany, the realization.
I still have a lot to do. When I go home today, I will work on some of them. I have tomorrow, too. But then, tomorrow is not a reality. It’s only a possibility, and I have absolutely no complaints about that J
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